


WHY WON'T YOU GET UP

by WUTBOIWHOISDIS



Series: WRITTEN IMAGES [3]
Category: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: Blood, Character Death, Crying, Gen, I know how you guys cry with these things, I'll promise the next installment isn't all sad, Men have the right to cry, Mutilated body, Why is men crying a category
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:00:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WUTBOIWHOISDIS/pseuds/WUTBOIWHOISDIS
Summary: Blitzø's been gone for over two months now. The guys at I.M.P are getting worried after looking all over for him, so they ask the prince that got into the imp's pants for help.He found him.Based off of the comic by Art of Rhues.Please comment.
Relationships: Blitzo/Stolas Goetia, Millie/Moxxie (Helluva Boss)
Series: WRITTEN IMAGES [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2093688
Comments: 9
Kudos: 62





	WHY WON'T YOU GET UP

**Author's Note:**

> The comic by Art of Rhues was probably made for that Instagram event I always hear about.
> 
> By the way, thank you for the support for this series from EXPOSED. It's more popular than ENIGMA!

Where the hell was this guy?

That's exactly what Moxxie thought when his wife and Loona failed to find Blitzø the umpteenth time they split up. Blitzø's been gone for Lucifer knows how long. Hell, he's been gone for GOD knows how long, and it was strange enough when he didn't show up to work the day he left.

The three remembered the last time they saw him.

They had come back from assassinating some big-shot politician who thought it would be a nice idea to backstab his running mate. The woman was furious, and she offered a heavy stack of money (approximately 500K) to take down the asshole.

Blitzø decided to celebrate the big sum they were just awarded by spending a little bit on coffee for him, Loona, and the imp couple. A latte for both him and Moxxie, black coffee for Millie, and bacon flavored iced coffer for Loona.

Loona, with how many times her father went for coffee, knew exactly how long it took. The best coffee shop in Imp City was a good distance away; 15 minutes to get there, 5 minutes to get orders, and 15 to come back. Sometimes things would happen of course, that would make it longer, but Blitzø always came back with the coffee in one way or another.

He didn't come back this time.

"Does any one know where our boss might actually be?" Moxxie inquired tiredly while they sat in their office. Their only lead was a Voxtagram post of Blitzø with the coffee mentioning something about being photobombed.

"He's been to so many parts in Hell all the times that I've known him that I think our only way to find him is by chance," Loona snapped. "Like a fucking goddamn board game."

Millie was slightly appalled that Loona would talk like that about her father. "Don't say that about Blitzø! I'm sure he's okay, he's a capable man! He's our boss, and if we can't find him, he'll find us."

Loona gave Millie the side eye. "Kinda what I just said..."

"OOH, I KNOW!" Millie just got a bright idea. Moxxie sighed, probably something that wouldn't work, but with how much he loved his beautiful wife, he'd probably agree with it.

"How about...missing posters! Like searching for a lost lil' puppy, but for our boss!"

Moxxie looked at his wife. "Now how in Dante's Inferno is that going to work."

"I'm gonna kill myself because for once, I agree with this shrimp," Loona said, Moxxie ignoring the direct insult. "How in hell are we going to get anyone to look for him? We can't do a cash reward, because you know how da-Blitzø likes to spend his money. We won't have anything to give! It's better if he just got lost..."

Why did it hurt to say that? Loona shook the thought off.

Moxxie thought of something though. "It would actually benefit I.M.P if we gave them an awesome deal! How about we give them a deal through the missing posters? That way not only will we find Blitzø, but he'll come home to hundreds of clients lining up to give us missions!"

"And that's why I fell in love with you, Moxxie!" Millie gave him a wet kiss on the cheek. Loona grimaced at the gesture.

"I can't, just get a room, please..."

//////

The missing posters didn't work, which disappointed Millie. No one actually gave a shit about their boss. One, he was an imp, and nobody, not even other imps, care about imps in Hell. Two, the few people that actually did try to help only wanted free kills and had no effort. That was three backstabbing bodies in the dumpster...

Moxxie started to worry about his boss. Was he kidnapped? Had he abandoned the three to work on their own? Was he-

Moxxie cleared that thought quicker than he could snipe from 100 feet away. Blitzø can't be dead! No no no no no, his boss wasn't smart, but he wasn't stupid, either. If they can't find him, they'll find a way.

Millie was just as concerned as Moxxie. Yes, their boss was capable of taking care of himself, but she was trying her best not to think of the worst. She was usually the happy one, too.

Loona had it the worst. She started to miss Blitzø, and even when she was home, she started to long for his appearance. She was whimpering every morning when he didn't show up. She started to gather as much memory-inducing objects in her apartment just to feel like he was there. It wasn't the same.

//////

Moxxie would get the coffee.

The employees sipped on their respective beverages. Moxxie was trying his best to contact people who could know of his whereabouts. He called Blitzø's sisters Tilla. Barbie Wire. Shit, he called that goddamned robot FizzaRolli clown to ask if he knew. Of course, none of them were able to answer that. None of them called Stolas, for he knew how passionate he was about his little imp.

The day was going slow until Loona spat out her coffee.

"Guys...look..."

Moxxie and Millie rushed over to look at Loona's phone screen. What they saw made them sick to the stomach.

Loona was browsing on Voxtagram when she saw that her father's page updated. She quickly opened it and saw a photo of her dad covered in minor cuts and bruises. He was crouched down behind a crate, and there was nothing but fear in his eyes. In average Blitzø fashion, he typed a misspelled message of his dilemma. He was kidnapped, found his phone and needed help.

Millie was internally panicking. Loona was externally panicking. "I SWEAR, WHEN WE FIND THAT A-HOLE I'M GONNA TEAR THEM TO SHREDS AND FUCK THEM WITH THEIR OWN DICK! YOU AND ME, MILLIE!"

"Loona, calm down! Panicking is only going to get us nowhere!"

"Ugh, I can't believe I agree with YOU too..." Loona said to Millie with a sigh.

Reluctantly, Loona knew the only other option. "Call Stolas."

"WHAT?!" Moxxie yelled at the top of his lungs. "How do you know he'll help us?! Imps are basically his fetish!"

Millie reasoned with him. "But not us, Mox. We're friends with the prince, and the only imp pants he's jumped into is the boss's, so he'll definitely help us."

Loona nodded. "He's our only hope, anyway."

//////

Moxxie called Stolas. Turn's out, Stolas saw the post and was already on the search. The prince promised to tell them if he tracked him down so that they could finally see him again. The imps were relieved.

As for Stolas, he was having a hard time finding his Blitzy.

He searched Imp City first, disguised as an imp himself. Being seen in such a place would rile his wife up. Anyway, he surprisingly had no luck there. Next he searched the Royal District. Despite this place being all high and mighty, it did have a few shady spots. The place had only imps in it, obviously, so there was nothing here either. The kidnapper was an imp, so he looked to the last place that he knew Blitzø would be.

Pentagram City.

The owl prince searched in the skies first. Then he would find a specific spot and scan the area. If anyone was nearby, he would ask them about Blitzø. They all thought he was going to arrest or kill the imp, so they were quick to try and come up with something. It was no use though. Most hadn't seen Blitzø.

He landed near an abandoned building. There was an imp that had looked familiar. Stolas swooped down and got the imp's attention after the crowed that happened to walk next to it noticed him and started to diverge for his landing.

"Excuse me sir, have you seen a you-" Stolas started, but he stopped when the imp turned around.

The imp was in a dark cloak. His horns were only slightly curved, and he had black gloves on his hands. But what gave his away was the very same mask that was in the Voxtagram photo.

" **You**." Stolas displayed pure malice in his words. " **You took him from me**."

The imp immediately ran away. Despite Stolas being very powerful, the imp was pretty swift and nimble. They ran into the building and the imp had run into some crates that were placed all about. Full of weapons, ammunition, bombs; Stolas realized that he just found a weapons trafficking ring.

The imp wouldn't let up, but Stolas's Goetic blood was overpowering him. He caught up to the imp and tackled him.

" **WHERE**. **IS**. **BLITZØ**?" Stolas's voice boomed through the corridor's of crates and shelves.

"I don't know who you're talking about, imp fucker." What a poor choice of words.

" **YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO HE IS**! **WHERE** , **IS HE**?!"

"Fine, fine..." The imp surrendered nonchalantly. "He's somewhere among these crates, or some shit. Just try and find him. He's playing some hide and seek..."

The imp laughed in the prince's face. It would be the last time he laughed, however, for Stolas stared at him with intense Goetial energy, turning the imp to stone like he was Medusa.

Stolas searched the warehouse. He turned over shelves, smashed crates, only to find weapons and stolen money. He growled in rage as it took longer to find him.

After what seemed like hours, Stolas caught a glimpse of what looked like a recognizable pair of horns.

"Blitzy, is that you?" Stolas ran to were he saw the horns.

Relieved to see it was his handsome Blitzø, sitting upright on some boxes.

Mortified of what had become of him.

Blitzø clothes were torn up in several places. One of his gloves were missing. Hundreds of cuts and bruises adorned his body. The corner of his bottom lip was hanging off, and blood was leaking from it. The horn on the left was cracked, it looked like it was slammed. But the worst part?

There was a large pool of blood under Blitzø. He wasn't breathing.

Stolas looked at the imp with teary eyes. He rushed over to him, but as he picked up his body, he knew he was to late.

"Blitzø...no... **NO**..."

An ear-piercing screech shattered every window in the warehouse.

//////

The guys at I.M.P were hard at work the whole time. While Stolas took another month to find their boss, as it turns out, Moxxie, Millie and Loona managed to actually flip the business around for themselves. They made smarter business choices that benefitted the company using an improved version of Blitzø model, and they were literally swimming in money, moving along the ranks of the best assassins. Despite the newfound success in Blitzø's name, they missed Blitzø horribly, and for him to come back to how well the company had managed and to see how they didn't forget him in the meantime would probably bring tears to his eyes.

But all would change when Stolas entered the building.

It was the end of the day, and the three human-killer crew was winding down. Millie was packing up weapons. Moxxie was going through paperwork, and Loona was on her phone, for she had finished tipping the leftover clients they met that they were done for the day. Stolas walked in to the room, carrying a body.

"I...I found him..."

Loona and Millie looked up, and gasped at what they saw. Moxxie snickered as he turned around. "See, everyone? I knew Stolas was going to find the idiot eventua...lly..."

The clipboard that Moxxie was holding dropped to his hooves. Millie covered her mouth in disgust. Loona stood up as if she was about to attack.

They all saw Blitzø's body in the hands of Stolas.

"I'm so sorry..." Stolas's words quivered weakly. "I...I was too...late..."

Millie let out a sob for her fallen friend. Loona silently broke down as well.

"He...heheheheheheHEHEHEHEHEHEHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

Moxxie was dying laughing. It was as if this was the funniest thing he'd ever seen in his life. The magnum opus of humor.

Millie looked at him with leaking, questioning eyes. "Moxxie, what are you doing?"

Moxxie snickered. "What a sick FUCK you are, sir..."

Loona looked up at him in horror of what he just said. "How could you say that?!...he's..."

Moxxie ignored her. "You're FUCKING PLAYING DEAD to FUCK WITH OUR HEADS, HUH?! I KNEW YOU WERE TWISTED, BUT THIS IS JUST SICK! ABSOLUTELY MORBID! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, SIR, BUT YOU HAVE A BIG PROBLEM ON YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW!"

Millie hugged her husband, as he started to walk towards the body. "Moxxie, stop..."

"YOU'RE PROBABLY LAUGHING INTERNALLY, YOU SICK BASTARD! YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANY ONE OF US!"

As Moxxie walked closer, reality was gradually showing itself.

"Get up! This isn't funny, Blitzø! This..." Moxxie crumpled to the floor on his knees.

"Just get up...please...get up..."

"Why won't you get up..."

//////

The funeral was held at the Goetia mansion. To Moxxie's surprise, a lot of people had shown up.

Assassins that had made friends with the company since they blew up in fame.

The only family that Blitzø had. Barbie Wire. Tilla. ~~His father~~.

Clients that bought I.M.P's services showed up. Even that one teacher who hired them to kill that crazy blonde bitch.

Every butler and soldier under Stolas's command had come as well.

To put it simply, it was a big funeral.

And for one imp.

Octavia comforted and wept with Loona as they watched the father she only knew get lowered into the ground.

Moxxie and Millie held each other as they mourned their employer.

To his surprise, Stolas's legal wife, Stella, was there too. Despite the disagreement over him bedding Blitzø, she knew how important he was toward the prince.

The employees of I.M.P stayed behind while the others had left (Loona agreed to go under Moxxie and Millie's care.)

She walked up to Blitzø's grave. Next to the many flowers and memorabilia was a photo of him and Loona as a child. They were at Lulu World (the legit one) and they were riding on a carousel. She placed the hellhound plushie that he got her. She sniffed as she looked at the mantle. Loona would leave her last words to her father.

"I love you, daddy..."

**Author's Note:**

> I assumed that you can't cry reading a fan fiction If you're the one who wrote it.
> 
> I was wrong.
> 
> Edit: This finally hit 1000 hits. Even after my future installments after this oneshot, y'all still come back to this one. This is truly my biggest achievement next to SOFT COKE TEARS. I love you guys.


End file.
